Lonely Saturday

Its another saturday. I am in hall again. My house would be empty. Bro and wife may be in. I rather come back hall to do some work. But, its another saturday.

Saturday is a night of party and fun. I am having fun with physics and maths. Saturday is a night of soccer. I am playing winning eleven 9. Its another new saturday...

My guitar string is still spoilt. Sad. I need to keep myself occupied. Taking nap. Tired...

Cheers
ZJ
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Losing It

I felt as though I am losing something. Things just aint the same as before. Felt weird.

Sat through a tiring 1 hour session today. I wasnt in the best of moods to be in such a session. To begin the whole session, I was given a cynical comment which prompted me to shut up. I made a few comments later on and was blatently and openly shoved away. I want to get out of this shit. I want to throw in the towel. I am beginning to under what Peijia was saying... I am tired of it. you guys can carry on, for the 2nd time in a few years... But before its official, I will still put in my best, but I will be just a follower and keep all my comments to myself. They arent cool enough for f**king cool Uni students...

Really wanted to destress... Found the new location of the pirated shop. It had moved! Across the street. diaoz... Whats the diff. Got myself a destress game, BUT... I couldnt install it. Pissed off. Really greatful to JH for pei-ing me in the afternoon..

Back to work in hall. Did 1141 papers yesterday. It was so hard! Gosh... How am I to survive??? Thought that 1431 would be easier, but I was WRONG! It was equally tough and took me a long while to do it.. with mistakes... Think I need to destress again...

Yesterday nite did some destressing with DOTA. First time a few noobs play together. It was quite funny. All of us were like doing stupid things. GC seems exceptionally bad mood... Hope he can get over it. Priority... Yeah...

I need to occupy myself. I need to... Argh... What Gen said was right, its an endless spiral downwards if we are to allow ourselves to indulge in mindless and meaningless thinking. Come on... Lets all pick ourselves up...

Cheers
ZJ
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The Feeling

I am having this kinda feeling again. I felt really really sian. I didnt want to do anything. I just want to shut myself up in a small corner, a small room or whatever shit... even a pair of headphones will do. Blast some music into my ears. I dont know why. I just didnt feel like doing anything.

Today just got flew kite by JK and AC in the evening, then subsequently got flew kite by JK and GC immediately after that. Now, just received a message from JW that I have been flew kite tml. What the hell is it? I dont feel like going out tml.

Shut myself up and Mug. With music blasting.

Cheers?
ZJ
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Zhanrui's and Lingwen's Wedding

It all started at a really really early hour in the morning. All of us woke up at around 4am. Prepared a bit , changed into our "brothers" attire and left for the hotel. Well, still felt kinda sleepy then... Have been watching a lot of those TV proramme where they were showing the bridegroom trying to buy over the "sisters" with big angbaos, answering trivia about the bride etc... but, its never the same when you are actually doing it. There is really this sense of excitement and fun in it! Partly due to the timing, not much noise was allowed and we eventually managed to squeeze in easily. On the way out of the hotel, I saw the most grotesque sight of my life... I thought I saw a cool guy that looked like Jack Sparrow. However, it turned out to be a freaking gross and turn-off trans!!! He/She stood beside the bridal car and kept waving to us! EEKKS!

Thereafter was all the ceremonies... offering of tea to elders etc.... then something unexpected came. Mum suddenly called "Where's Jiang? Come, offer tea to kor and sor..." I was like "what???" When and how did I come into picture, I thought it was a couple to elders issue... boo... Being the youngest if not fair. People wedding I must offer them, next time my own wedding I still must offer them. Boo...

At night, it was a simple and nice dinner. Nothing fanciful nothing dynamic, but its really sweet to see them march down the aisle together, hand in hand. When "Power of Love" was played, and they both entered the ballroom, it was so touching that tears welled up in my eyes. I knew it was a happy occasion, but I was just too happy for them. I held them back. I really really wish them all the best. This brother I knew for 21 years seemed to have changed so much suddenly... Ha...

I am so full of envy...

Cheers
ZJ
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Frustrated

Felt kinda frustrated today. Things just arent going my way. First was lab, couldnt do much before time ends, seems like I have to come back NEXT NEXT monday to finish it up. After lab, was going to central forum to collect my mp4. Then, there are 2 freaking idiotic arsehole that didnt want to move to the back of the bus, and the bus driver refuse to open the back door. freaking hell, was in a damn cranky mood already, so kept pointing at those 2 idiots with outstretch arm and kbkb-ing... Everyone else seems to notice less those 2... Missed the bus in the end. Finally got to forum via bus D. Times booth closed. Damn. Came back hall. Did sets. He finally finished bathing and came. But machiam never bathe like that. Kaoz... Then found out about some stuff... so frustrated...

ARgh... if not for the fine that may be handed to me, I would be doing a whole night of war cry... Gonna do my lab and mastering physics... argh...

Cheers
ZJ
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Theme Song...

http://www.6rooms.com/player.swf?v=6914&l=227&vid=ijf//mBQfwl/XKcJx2agsw

Been listening to this song the past few days. Nice song, nice lyrics. I am slowly getting over it... Whats on my mind now is perhaps just study... study and study.

Bro's wedding is this weekend... felt weird... so happy for them... but... things just dont happen at the right time for me ya...

Cheers

ZJ

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Refreshed... Frustrated

Had a 12 hrs sleep last night back in hall after being "chased" out of home. Well, felt really good and refreshing. Managed to settle down and do quite a bit of work. Quite glad that I managed to do up my mind map for ideal gases. been wanting to do it but the moment of inertia is just too large...

However, things just got worse as time passes. Today is just not my physics day. I just suddenly couldnt do all the simple mechanics that I used to do easily!! Why?!??!?! Just couldnt "SEE" it... argh. This is extremely frustrating...

Well, managed to play some table tennis today. Fun! Hope I had a few more kakis, then can train as well... Today also found out about a lot of other stuff... Life is complicated...

Cheers
ZJ
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Soothing...

Had a little time to myself today. Reminds me of the past... I would just indulge in soothing music, stare blankly into the ceiling. Just relax.

I felt better... a bit. But there is still this very unsettled feeling inside me...

Last night, had a short talk with G. Perhaps its just another phase of life? Perhaps. Now there is this SPACE to be filled up. A gapping hole...

Was listening to some chinese music. No wonder they say that chinese songs are meant for lovebirds and their opposite number... Well... Nevertheless, still felt better after some soothing music... Its ok ZJ.

Cheers
ZJ
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Confused

I went for Science Club night cycling yesterday. Well, it was quite fun. It has been some time I get to do some outdoor stuff and also an outing with my OG. Certainly brought to my attention that there are actually much more 24hr eatery shops around. I was quite drawn to this one at lavender. The music blasting there were actually some Theresa Teng and era music! Damn cool. Well, opposite the food centre were many budget hotels though... Hmm, wonders why....

Been thinking quite a lot for the past few days. Sometimes, things just goes in a loop and I didnt know where exactly I am in the trend of thought. I also tends to get more sensitive I guess... I think I am reading too much into other's actions and words. This is so distracting in work... so tiring in life... I feel like hiding in a small corner. I need some time for myself.. to relax... just to rest.

Nite cycling... I felt weird again. I had the "if only she's here" thought again. WHY? Maybe sam is right. I am not the snap kind. I am more inclined towards the emo kind. But, time had stretched the emo till I am trying to become the heck kind. Indulging in other distractions to overcome the thoughts. Am I...? I hate this feeling...

Too many things are happening at the same time... Trying to cope...

Cheers
ZJ
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Yan Teng's Birthday

I guess she had one of the most special (if not the most...) birthday thus far. She had the omg look when we surprised her at her door JUST before she slept at 2am... and our good old Jack did his guitar+ sing song stunt... And today... Genn told her that she had BO and she actually believed and went for a gooood long bath! OMg omg omg omg omg. We did a "mew" in her room with a nice cake with candles... (oh, this time is real candles... not Yongfeng's hair...) Cy sure did a good job in planning this surprise... An outstanding birthday celebration... Never fail to amuse us... Ha....

Just sat down and chatted... deep thoughts...

Cheers
ZJ
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Sincere Apologies

Today isnt exactly a great day for me. Felt really low in the afternoon. I think my mood was really bad and offended a few pals... Snapped a few times. I guess they sensed that there was something wrong with me too. Even Giap said that he had never seen me like this before since he moved in...

Well, sincere apologies... I will be better... soon. I will learn self control. I will...

Cheers
ZJ
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Sets and Updates

Sort of 2nd day doing Sets, aka props aka unsung heros. I guess I quite like the job. Its something really me... doing, organising etc... Hope I can really enjoy my weeks there. Sort of remind me of the days when the Scouts were doing pioneering, or rcently, when we were constructing the spar rack... fun.

Been through ULTBC. It was very slack and zo bo. Well, I guess it serves well as a basic introductory course to some teachers. My group had quite a number of old boys and we were really Nuahz. Thats my "name" in the camp btw... Met some real nice people. Crappy and funny. Can really 谈得来(tan2 de2 lai2)...

Today, also received an sms. . . .. ... ....

Cheers
ZJ
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